Whenever I go somewhere and women tell me they are going through a divorce there's a moment when we just look at each other and "KNOW". We understand each other. We've each experienced our own personal journey but we know the pain that's been involved.
And we know that at certain points in the journey, there is a period where all you can do is simply make it through the day. Just get through those 24 hours and worry about the rest later. Just survive, however barely. And it's hell. And sometimes it seems like that bit will last forever.
If you are still in that bit, the overwhelming, exhausting and terrifying bit I need you to know something.
There comes a time when there is something after all of that. Something wilder than your imagination could ever have thought of. Something better than you could ever have dreamed of.
Although you might not realize it, you are now a better you. You've grown in strength, resilience and self-awareness. You've learned to question those loops of negative thinking. You've worked on getting out of victim mentality and you've taken radical responsibility for your life. You've stepped out of your comfort zone, not with courage, it's terrifying(!!), but simply with action.
That absolute breaking of your heart has made you realize just how precious love is. You've slowly pieced your heart back together in a new way. You can give and receive love differently, better, truer now.
You know your values, your worth and your boundaries. You have learned to guard yourself against harm but still let in all that is good, wisely, carefully and vulnerably. You've worked super hard to make your experience make you better, not bitter.
If you are still working on the "you" bit of your story that's ok. Don't try to skip it or rush through it. It's an ongoing process That's the bit that will take you the rest of your life but serve you well for the rest of your life, in every way. Do it all, embrace it all, however hard it is, however long it takes. That's the part when your mess becomes your magic. 💛
And when you least expect it, when it's the last thing you were looking for, someone just might walk into your rebuilt life and add a little sparkle to it all.
Your story isn't over.
Love comes in many different ways. So many women have found new love not just from romance but from finding a group of women who just get them. Their tribe, their community. Their "it's 3 am and I've drunk 2 bottles of wine and I need to rant to someone" friends. The ones who just "get" them. They've found they have a closer relationship with their kids now, time with them is precious and they make sure they are fully present in those moments. They've found love within themselves. They like their own company and appreciate their self-worth. Because they've done the work.
Don't be afraid of your messy bit and keep your heart open towards a new life, new love and new beginnings.
Keep going lovely, it's so worth it! 🌻